Its all about Rajani

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Have you heard the one about how Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone?

What do you do to kill time when you are at the back of a serpentine line-up in front of a cinema hall selling Endhiran tickets? Tell Rajanikanth jokes, of course.

A host of one-liners extolling the Tamil superstar has the Internet buzzing ahead of the release of his mega movie Endhiran/The Robot.

Tickets for Endhiran sold out within an hour of the opening of bookings in Tamil Nadu, a week ahead of the film’s release.

Absurd in their improbability but increasingly imaginative, Rajanikanth jokes draw inspiration from the actor’s larger than life persona on and off screen.

Capable of drawing a guffaw from even the staunchest of Rajini critics, the jokes vary from witty to the downright ridiculous.

Sample this. When Rajanikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

Mostly the jokes are a fallback on veteran martial arts expert and actor Chuck Norris who can give the Tamil superstar a run for his money, which die-hard Rajini fans will undoubtedly debate.

After serving in the United States Air Force, Norris started his own martial arts school and starred in television series Walker, Texas Ranger. Multiplying and mutating over the internet, the jokes on Norris have found their way to India, only Norris is replaced with Rajanikanth.

Norris’ huge popularity started a cult-like following on the internet, which was later satirized and popularized further by late night anchors on US television such as Connan O’Brien. Jokes on Norris’ strength, physique, abilities, body hair and virility started a whole new fad in America.

Norris fans started the no-brainer “There is no such thing as evolution. It's just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.” Rajini fans responded in kind: Rajanikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

The Norris factoids, as the jokes are popularly known, became a phenomenon in popular culture through repetition and expanded to include other figures as well.

The Rajanikanth factoids, attributing impossible feats to the action hero, have found their way through the word of mouth in college campuses, cafeterias and offices.

Circulated as forwarded mails and mobile text messages, writers of the Rajanikanth one-liners are constantly vying to outdo themselves.

Here’s the proof. Rajanikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. Or this. Rajanikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajanikanth.

From the most common bullet jokes - the action superstar splits a bullet in two to kill two villains at one time - to killing the Dead Sea, Rajanikanth quips have found their way into Indian popular culture, irrespective of geographical boundaries.

Here are some of the Rajini one-liners from the Internet you shouldn’t miss:

• Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
• Rajanikanth can slam a revolving door.
• Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Rajanikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
• Rajanikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
• Rajanikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajanikanth lives in Chennai.
• Rajanikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Rajanikanth knows Victoria's secret.
• Water boils faster when Rajanikanth stares at it.
• Rajanikanth kills two stones with one bird.
• Google won't find Rajanikanth because you don't find Rajanikanth; Rajanikanth finds you.
• Rajanikanth can answer a missed call.
• Rajanikanth can speak Braille.
• Rajanikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.
• Rajanikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
• Chuck Norris once met Rajanikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
• Rajanikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
• Rajanikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
• Rajanikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• Rajanikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Rajanikanth knows what women really want.
• Rajanikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajanikanth”.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

Rajanikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

Pick a winner, if you dare.
Few more search results

• Rajinikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain. 
• Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. 
• Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 
• When Rajinikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.
• When Rajinikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajinikanth and Rajinikanth.
• RajiniKanth killed the dead sea.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajinikanth has allowed to live.
• Rajnikanth Got the Driving License at the age of 16 seconds
• It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
•  Rajanikath also deleted recycle bin.
• Rajnikanth's email id – gmail@rajnikanth.com
• Rajnikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.