Tuesday, December 7, 2010

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.
He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview,made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate r esearch, never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".
The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees."
The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the y outh's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes"
The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."
The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship. The director said,
" This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired."
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. E very employee worked diligently and as a team.
The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?
You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not becau se you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Recycling

by Santhosh -> Hieght of recycling :
People spend time for earning money and the same money is spent for spending time !

Monday, November 29, 2010

Good Quotes!

Latest Quotes from VB(Vijay Bhaskar)

  1. Now I'm trying to read an article about how to RELAX, but I keep falling ASLEEP....
  2. Everyone makes mistakes but only ur girlfriends, wife n boss hav gifted talent of finding,remembering and reminding it to U! :)
  3. I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words!
  4. I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like..'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture..
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty..'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples..'

Shared by Shridhar Hegde
Have fun :)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Lost

Shared by Divya




A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. 
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me Sir, can you help me? I promised a friend, I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
''You must be an engineer," said the lady balloonist. "I am", replied the man. 'How did you know?'
''Well", answered the lady in the balloon, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."
The engineer below responded, "You must be in Top Management." ''I am", replied the lady balloonist, "but, how did you know?''
"Well," said the Engineer, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems."  
 

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Amazing Miracles

By - Anil Chandra

 

          The priest woke early as was his wont, and began his prayers, his devotions, and his work for his diocese. He was its spiritual light and was held in high esteem by his religious colleagues and the people. Before his door, there grew a small tree planted by his own hands; he always watered it before sunrise, contemplating the sun as it burst forth from the horizon to shed its rays on its green leaves.

          As the priest finished watering the tree that morning and was about to return inside, he found himself faced by a crowed of sad and worried-looking people, one of whom plucked up the courage to address him in beseeching tones:

          "Father! Save us! No one but you can save us! My wife is on her death bed and she is asking for your blessing before she breathes her last."

"Where is she?"

          "In a village nearby. The mounts are ready," replied the man, pointing to two saddled ponies standing there waiting for them.

          "I am willing to go, my sons," said the priest, "Wait a while so that I may arrange my affairs and tell my breathren and then return to you."

          "There's no time!" they all said as one voice. 'The woman is dying. We may well reach her too late. Come with us right away if you would be a true benefactor to us and a merciful saviour to the dying woman. It is not far and we shall be there and back at your house before sunset."

          "Well, then, let us go at once!" the priest agreed with enthusiastic fervour. He went up to the two ponies followed by the crowd. Mounting him on one of them while the husband of the dying woman mounted the other, they raced off.

          For hours on end they pounded the ground, passing from one country road to another, with the priest frequently asking, "when would the village of the unfortunate woman come" and the men goading on the pony saying, "we're almost there!" It wasn't till noon that the village came into sight. They entered it to the accompaniment of barking dogs and the welcome of its inhabit¬ants, and they all made their way to the woman's hut. They led the priest through the front verandah to a large room where he found a woman stretched out on a bed, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. He called to her, but no reply came from her, for she was at death's door. So he began to call down blessings upon her, and scarcely had he finished when she heaved a great sigh and fell into a deep fit of sobbing, so that the priest thought she was about to give up the ghost.

          Instead her eyelies fluttered open, her gaze cleared and she turned and murmured, "Where am I?"

          "You are in your house," answered the astonished priest. "Get me a drink of water."

          "Bring the pitcher!" shouted her relatives around her. "Bring the water jar!"

          They raced off and brought back a jug of water from which the woman took a long drink. Then she belched heartily and said, "Isn't there any food? I'm hungry!"

          Everyone in the house set about bringing her food. Under the astonished gaze of those around her, the woman began devouring the food; then she got up from her bed and proceeded to walk about the house completely fit and well again. At this the people prostrated themselves before the priest, covering his hands and feet in kisses and shouting, "O Saint of God! Your blessing has alighted on the house and brought the dead woman back to life! What can we possibly give you as a token of the thanks we owe you, as an acknowledgment of our gratitude?"

          "I have done nothing that deserves reward or thanks," replied the priest, still bewildered by the incident. "It is God's power that has done it."

          "Call it what you will," said the master of the house. "It is at all events a miracle which God wished to be accomplished through your hands, O Saint of God. You have alighted at our lowly abode, and this brings both great honour and good fortune to us. You must let us undertake the obligations of hospitality in such manner as our circumstances allow."

          He ordered a quiet room to be made ready for his guest and there he lodged him. Whenever the priest asked leave to depart, the master of the house swore by all that was most holy to him that he would not allow his auspicious guest to go before three days were up—the very least hospitality which should be accorded to someone who had saved his wife's life. During this time he showed him much attention and honour. When the period of hospitality came to an end he saddled a mount and loaded it up with presents of home-made sweet meats, lentils, and vegetables; in addition he pressed rupees twenty for the church funds in the priest's hand. Hardly had he escorted him to the door and helped him on to the pony than a man appeared, puffing and out of breath, who threw himself down beside the priest.

          "Father," he pleaded, "the story of your miracle has reached all the villages around. I have an uncle who is like a father to me and who is at death's door. He is hoping to have your blessing, so let not his soul depart from him before his hope is fulfilled!"

          "But, my son, I am all ready to return home," the priest replied uncertainly.

          "This is something that won't take any time. I shall not let you go till you've been with me to see my uncle."

          "And where is this uncle of yours?" asked the priest.

          "Very near here—a few minutes' distance."

          The priest saw nothing for it but to comply. They journeyed for an hour before they reached the next village. There he saw a house like the first one with a dying man on a bed, his family around him veering between hope and despair. No sooner had the priest approached and called down his blessing on the patient than the miracle occurred: the dying man rose to his feet calling for food and water. The people, astounded at what had occurred, swore by everything most dear that they must discharge the duties of hospitality towards this holy man—a stay of three full days.

          The period of hospitality passed with the priest enjoying every honour and attention. Then, as they were  escorting him out of the village loaded down with gifts, a man from a third village came along and asked him to come and visit it, even if only for a little while, and give it the blessing of one whose fame had spread throughout all the district.

          The priest was quite unable to escape from the man, who led the pony off by its bit and brought the priest to a house in his village. There they found a young man who was a cripple; hardly had the priest touched him than he was up and about on his two feet, among the cheers and jubiliation of young and old. All the people swore that the duties of hospitality must be accorded to the miracle-maker, which they duly did in fine  style; three nights no less, just as the others had done. When this time was up they went to their guest and added yet more presents to those he already had, until his donkey was almost collapsing under them. They also presented him with a more generous gift of money than he had received in the former villages so that he had by now collected close to rupees three hundred. He put them in a purse which he hid under his clothes. He then mounted the pony and asked his hosts to act as an escort for him to his village, so they all set off with him, walking behind his pony.

          "Our hearts shall be your protection, our lives your ransom," they said. "We shall not leave you till we have handed you over to your own people, you are as precious to us as gold."

          "I am causing you some inconvenience," said the priest. "The way is not safe and, as you know, criminal  gangs are rife in the region."

          "Truly," they replied, "hereabouts they kidnap men in broad daylight."

          "Even the government is powerless to remove this widespread evil," said the priest. "I was told that gangs of kidnappers waylay buses in the countryside, run their eyes over the passengers, and carry off with them anyone at all prosperous-looking, so that they can afterwards demand a large ransom from his relatives. Sometimes it happens with security men actually in the buses. I heard that once two policemen were among the passengers on one of these buses when it was stopped by the gang; when the selected passenger appealed for help to the two policemen they were so scared of the robbers that all they said to the kidnapped man was, "Go away and let's get the bus going."

          The people laughed and said to the priest, "Do not be afraid! So long as you are with us, you will dismount only when you arrive safely back in your village."

          "I know how gallant you are! You have overwhelmed me with honour and generosity!"

          "Don't say such a thing—you are very precious to us!" They went on walking behind the priest, extolling his virtues and describing in detail his miracles. He listened to their words, and thought about all that had occurred. Finally, he exclaimed, "Truly, it is remarkable the things that have happened to me in these last few days! Is it possible that these miracles are due solely to my blessing?"

          "And do you doubt it?"

          "I am not a prophet that I should accomplish all that in nine days. Rather it is you who have made me do these miracles!"

          "We?" they all said in one voice. "What do you mean?"

          "Yes, you are the prime source."

          "Who told you this?" they murmured, exchanging glances.

          "It is your Faith," continued the priest with conviction. "Faith has made you achieve all this. You do not know the power that lies in the soul of the believer. Faith is a power, my sons! Faith is a power! Miracles are buried deep within your hearts, like water inside rock, and only faith can cause them to burst forth!" He continued talking in this vein while the people behind him shook their heads. He became more and more impassioned and did not notice that they had begun to slink off, one after the other. It was only when he reached the boundaries of his village that he came back to earth, turned round to thank his escort, and was rendered speechless with astonishment at finding himself alone.

          His surprise did not last long, for he immediately found his family, his brother priests and superiors rushing towards him, hugging him and kissing his hand, as tears of joy and emotion flowed down their cheeks. One of them embraced him, saying, "You have returned safely to us at last! They kept their promise. Let them have the money so long as they have given you back, father! To us, father, you are more priceless than any money!"

          The priest, catching the word 'money', exclaimed, "What money?"

          "The money we paid to the gang."

          "What gang?"

          "The one that kidnapped you. At first they wouldn't be satisfied with less than, ten thousand rupees, saying that you were worth your weight in gold. We pleaded with them to take half and eventually they accepted, and so we paid them a ransom of five thousand rupees from the church funds."

          "Five thousand?" shouted the priest. "You paid that for me!— they told you I'd been kidnapped?"

          "Yes, three days after you disappeared some people came to us and said that a gang kidnapped you one morning as you were watering the tree by your door. They swore you were doomed unless your ransom was paid to them—if we paid you'd be handed over safe and sound."

          The priest considered these words, recalling to himself all that had occurred.

          "Indeed, that explains it", he said, as though talking to himself. "Those dead people, the sick, and the cripples who jumped up at my blessing! What mastery!"

          His relatives again came forward, examining his/ body and clothes as they said joyfully, "Nothing is of any consequence, father, except your safety. We hope they didn't treat you badly during your captivity. What did they do to you?"

          In bewilderment he answered: 'They made me work miracles— miracles that were manufactured." 

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Its all about Rajani

Origial Article Link


Have you heard the one about how Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone?
What do you do to kill time when you are at the back of a serpentine line-up in front of a cinema hall selling Endhiran tickets? Tell Rajanikanth jokes, of course.
A host of one-liners extolling the Tamil superstar has the Internet buzzing ahead of the release of his mega movie Endhiran/The Robot.
Tickets for Endhiran sold out within an hour of the opening of bookings in Tamil Nadu, a week ahead of the film’s release.
Absurd in their improbability but increasingly imaginative, Rajanikanth jokes draw inspiration from the actor’s larger than life persona on and off screen.
Capable of drawing a guffaw from even the staunchest of Rajini critics, the jokes vary from witty to the downright ridiculous.
Sample this. When Rajanikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
Mostly the jokes are a fallback on veteran martial arts expert and actor Chuck Norris who can give the Tamil superstar a run for his money, which die-hard Rajini fans will undoubtedly debate.
After serving in the United States Air Force, Norris started his own martial arts school and starred in television series Walker, Texas Ranger. Multiplying and mutating over the internet, the jokes on Norris have found their way to India, only Norris is replaced with Rajanikanth.
Norris’ huge popularity started a cult-like following on the internet, which was later satirized and popularized further by late night anchors on US television such as Connan O’Brien. Jokes on Norris’ strength, physique, abilities, body hair and virility started a whole new fad in America.
Norris fans started the no-brainer “There is no such thing as evolution. It's just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.” Rajini fans responded in kind: Rajanikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.
The Norris factoids, as the jokes are popularly known, became a phenomenon in popular culture through repetition and expanded to include other figures as well.
The Rajanikanth factoids, attributing impossible feats to the action hero, have found their way through the word of mouth in college campuses, cafeterias and offices.
Circulated as forwarded mails and mobile text messages, writers of the Rajanikanth one-liners are constantly vying to outdo themselves.
Here’s the proof. Rajanikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. Or this. Rajanikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajanikanth.
From the most common bullet jokes - the action superstar splits a bullet in two to kill two villains at one time - to killing the Dead Sea, Rajanikanth quips have found their way into Indian popular culture, irrespective of geographical boundaries.
Here are some of the Rajini one-liners from the Internet you shouldn’t miss:
  • Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
  • Rajanikanth can slam a revolving door.
  • Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • Rajanikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
  • Rajanikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
  • Rajanikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
  • There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajanikanth lives in Chennai.
  • Rajanikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
  • Rajanikanth knows Victoria's secret.
  • Water boils faster when Rajanikanth stares at it.
  • Rajanikanth kills two stones with one bird.
  • Google won't find Rajanikanth because you don't find Rajanikanth; Rajanikanth finds you.
  • Rajanikanth can answer a missed call.
  • Rajanikanth can speak Braille.
  • Rajanikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.
  • Rajanikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
  • Chuck Norris once met Rajanikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
  • Rajanikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
  • Rajanikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  • Rajanikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  • Rajanikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • Rajanikanth knows what women really want.
  • Rajanikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
  • Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajanikanth”.
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
Rajanikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
Pick a winner, if you dare.
Few more search results
  • Rajinikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain. 
  • Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. 
  • Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 
  • When Rajinikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.
  • When Rajinikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajinikanth and Rajinikanth.
  • RajiniKanth killed the dead sea.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajinikanth has allowed to live.
  • Rajnikanth Got the Driving License at the age of 16 seconds
  • It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
  •  Rajanikath also deleted recycle bin.
  • Rajnikanth's email id – gmail@rajnikanth.com
  • Rajnikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Monday, September 27, 2010

CID Version Ending of 3 idiots

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call the world famous CID.

ACP: Ohh MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya...campus ko acchi tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !! (Shaking his finger)

(After searchin the campus like a pair of buffoons...Abhijeet and Daya find out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years back in the campus...)

Abhijeet: Sir, Mamla Gadbad hai...Yaha kisi joy naam ke student NE aatma-hatya ki thi 4 saal pehle. Lagta hai woh aatma hatya nahi...khoon tha...aur shayad khooni yeh rancho hi hoga !!!

ACP: OHH MY GODD !!!

ACP: Yeh joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikalo...aur use forensic lab me leke aao...Dr. Salunkhe zarur koi na koi baat ughalva denge iss murde aadmi se !!

(after fredricks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of joy...and the next scene is of the forensic lab)

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahot jaldi laash laaye tum...isse kuch bulvana mushkil hoga...lekin tum tension mat lo...tum Dr. Salunkhe ke lab se khali haat nahi jaoge..koi na koi raaz toh pata chal hi jayega

(after playin with some colour changing liquids)
Dr. Salunkhe : BOSS...tumne kaha isski maut suicide se hui hai...main kehta hu..iska khoon hua hai !!

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!...yeh kaise ho sakta hai??

Salunkhe: BOSS...sab kuch mumkin hai !! Yeh dekho...(shows him his star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)

ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger)....toh phir yeh baat hamein kisi NE batayi kyu nahi ??...ek kaam karo...uss principal ko yahaan leke aao bureau me...AB kya sach hai..wahi hamein batayega !!

(virus is brought to the bureau)

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai...Maine kuch nahi kiya

Abhijeet: sach sach batao...uss raat campus me kya hua tha???

Virus: sssir, main sssach bol raha hu...mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??

(daya gives him his special CHAMAAAT !!!)
Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad AA gaya...Bata ta hu...sab Bata ta hu !

Fredricks: (constipated look)..sir.. daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu hai...iska 'sssss' kehna band ho gaya

ACP: Fredricks..chup raho !!

Virus: uss raat sab logo NE gay party ki thi....sab log apni underwear me campus me ghoom rahe the....main bhi tha...lekin mere saath koi flirt hi nahi kar raha tha...isliye main bahot gusse me tha...phir Joy aaya aur usne mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya...Maine uska helicopter gutter me fek diya..toh woh rote rote apne room me chale gaya. Aur next din humne dekha toh uska murder ho gaya tha...lekin aap please yeh baat kisi se boliye mat...college ki badnaami ho jayegi...

ACP: hum kisi ko nahi batayenge... tum hamare saath co-operate karo

(virus leaves)

ACP: yahaan kuch toh gadbad hai daya....aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus me khoon ho gaya aur kisi NE CID ko bulaya hi nahin??
Abhijeet: sir shayad logo ko pata hai...ki pehle police ko bulana chaiye...CID ko nahi !!

ACP: Aur yeh kaise hua ki khooni campus me AA gaya..aur campus se khoon kar ke nikal gaya??

Vivek : Sir, shayad yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

ACP: haan vivek...kuch bhi ho sakta hai...kuch bhi (shaking finger)..ek kaam karo abhijeet...phir se campus me chalte hain...aur acchi tarah se check karte hain...yahaan daal me kuch kaala hai !!

Abhijeet: sir daal me kala nahi...puri daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!

(they reach the campus in their ol' faithful qualis which changes colour every episode...but the number plate is still the same...and daya slams the breaks....SCCHRREEE ECH !!)
ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum pura campus CHECK KARO....Daya tum iss campus ke saare DARWAAZE TOD DO !!....Fredricks. ..tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se entertain karo...aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hu....chalo sab apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!
(after checking the campus)

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aiye....yeh dekho...yeh ek chatur naam ke ladke ki diary mili hai sir...isme likha hai ki woh rancho aur rancho ek dusre ke dushman the...aur woh rancho se badla Lena chahta tha !!

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)...OHH MY GODD !!! AB yeh Chatur kaun hai...aur iske room se itni baas kyun AA rahi hai !!...Good work vivek !!...iss evidence ko forensic lab Le jao !

Abhijeet: Haain !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai...shayad se iss chatur NE hi joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! Aur rancho kahaan gaya...usse hi pata hoga !!

ACP: Toh bulao iss Chatur ko Bureau mein...isse hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!

(chatur in interrogation)
ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !!

Abhijeet: Dekho Sach Sach Batao !! Hamein yeh diary mili hai tumhare room se...isme saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhein rancho se jalan thi

Chatur : (over-acting) ...mujhe nahi pata hai sir !! maine kuch nai kiya hai

(Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins)
Chatur: Haan haan...maine hi khoon kiya tha joy ka...kyonki usne mechanical helicopter banaya tha project me...aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya tha....boo hoo hoo !! Lekin phir woh kambakht Rancho aa gaya...usne mujhe dekh liya tha...isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya

ACP: waah...kya plan banaya tha...lekin afsos tum CID ke saamne kamiyaab nahi ho paaye...ab banate rehna plan...JAIL me...
Tumhe toh FAASI hogi FAASI !!

Shared by Sandeep Kodandapani

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Ultimate Dialogue - technically True

Ek baar commit huva to, main khud ki baat bhi nahi sunta!!! --> By SQL
-
From Kumar B M

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Hearing Aid

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test that husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
Again he gets no response so, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey,what's for dinner?"
Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'



"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

It’s Quite Humorous , but it depicts the reality
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us, however often we end up blaming others !

ಹೋಲಿಕೆ

ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟ್ ತಂಡಗಳನ್ನು ಕನ್ನಡ ಸಿನಿಮಾ ರಂಗದ ನಾಯಕರಿಗೆ ಹೋಲಿಸಬಹುದಾದರೆ...........
ಆಸ್ಟ್ರೇಲಿಯ : ರಜನಿಕಾಂತ್ (ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಹಿಟ್)

ದಕ್ಷಿಣ ಆಫ್ರಿಕಾ : ಶಂಕರ್ ನಾಗ್ (ಪ್ರತಿಭಾವಂತ, ಆದರೆ ದುರದೃಷ್ಟವಂತ)

ಶ್ರೀಲಂಕಾ : ಸುದೀಪ್ (ಪ್ರತಿಭಾವಂತ, ಆದ್ರೆ ಹಿಟ್ ಇಲ್ಲ)

ಪ್ರೇಮ್ : ಬಾಂಗ್ಲಾದೇಶ (ಅದೃಷ್ಟ)


ನ್ಯೂಜಿಲೆಂಡ್ : ರಮೇಶ್ (ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ಸಾಧನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಗತಿ)

ಇಂಗ್ಲೆಂಡ್ : ಶಿವರಾಜ್ ಕುಮಾರ್ (ಸೋಲು - ಗೆಲುವು ಮುಖ್ಯ ಅಲ್ಲ)

ಐರ್‍ಲೆಂಡ್ : ಗಣೇಶ್(ಪಾದಾರ್ಪಣೆಯಲ್ಲೇ ಹಿಟ್)



ಭಾರತ : ಜಗ್ಗೇಶ್ (ಕಾಮಿಡಿ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಟ್ರ್ಯಾಜಿಡಿ)

-PC

Monday, September 6, 2010

Déjà vu

Déjà vu is that spooky feeling in which you feel like you have previously experienced something that is actually being encountered for the first time.

- I really didnt understand what exactly it mean :) !!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Financial Management with example :)




A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at the Taj yesterday.

How? The other beggar asked.

First beggar: Someone gave me a Rs. 100/- note yesterday.

I went to the Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs. 1,000/- and enjoyed the dinner.

When the bill came, I told that I had no money.

The Manager called the policeman and handed me over to him.

I gave the Rs. 100/- note to the policeman and he set me free.


A wonderful example of financial management indeed!

PS: You are innovative as long as you keep your source secret! This is just another sharing :) 

Monday, August 30, 2010

Santa-Banta

Santa and Banta were @ CCD
Santa : If i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!
Banta : With me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

management

Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult to for people to get their work done.
Peter Drucker

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Last Day!

Teach each day as your last day!
One day you will be right :)

Shared by Shridhar Hegde!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

People

there are 10 kind of people in this world.
Those who understand binary; those who don't !

Monday, May 10, 2010

Law of Failure and Version

If you failed in first attempt, call it as version 1.0 ! 
But if you don't wanna consider it as a failure, 
call it as beta version :)

Never give up!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Peace

A poster seen @ peace rally in Mumbai 
Politicians divide us,
Terrorists unite us!

Friday, May 7, 2010

How many chocolates?

Shared by,
Ajay 

A shop is selling each chocolate for 1 Re and 3 wrappers can be exchanged to one chocolate. If I have 15 Rs. How many chocolates I can get?

-PC