Perfection as defined by Japanese

Apparently the computer giant IBM decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept only three defective parts per 10,000. When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter.

'We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices.
But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment in a separate packaging clearly mentioned
' Defective pieces as required, not for use'.
Hope this pleases you.'   

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Shared by Guru,Vinay Hegde

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If you can teach yourself how to learn, you can learn anything. ;)

How Men-Women talk

TWO WOMEN TALKING:

Woman1 : Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman2 : Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman1 : No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman2 : Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman1 : Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.

Woman2 : Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier .... ...... ........... ........ ........ .......... ...... .... .........

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NOW, TWO MEN TALKING

Man1 : Haircut?

Man2 : Yeah.

The End

-prati

I was in flight, was going to onsite once again. Was very happy plane takes off, n takes me to the sky. I looked outside the window, nice evening scene, feels like heaven. I just lost myself in that beauty.

Someone's voice disturbed me "excuse me sir, would you like to have something?" I turned back, and was surprise to see my beautiful old schoolmate, Saakshi.

"Hey Saakshi, is that you, how come you... Wow, you looks still the same, pretty.. In this Air-hostess suit"

"Paras, wo.....w, I can’t believe this is you.. Ohh sorry I am on my job, will talk to you later"

She left smile on my face. I coudnt believe in my eyes, It reminded me my school days memories. How crazy I was about her, always followed her after the school, wrote love letters, but never dared to give one of them. Always looking at her in the class, From last bench. She was the queen of our class. I fought with 2-3 other guys for her, how stupid I was.

I coudnt stop myself, looking at her again, I was amazed to see that, she became more beautiful then she were at school. She too looked at me and smile, then she said something to her fellow air-hostess, then they both started smiling. I was clueless that wat happened. Her colleague was also damn pretty. Oh my god, today you fulfil one of my dream.

I thought of going there and having chat with her, but I knew that, its her job, so I stopped myself. Again started looking outside the window. We were above the clouds making an awesome scene outside, also inside, because of her smile.

I got some courage, I looked at her, she understood what I desired.

She came toward me and said : "extremly sorry yaar, I couldn't talk to you much, So say how are you, where have you been these many years, and whats your success story? For what purpose you are going?"

"hmmm... I was always there, it was you who left everything after school, I searched you, so many places wherever I could, but no existence of you. Then I completed my college, got a job in such a nice company, I didn't know, my company will give me this much, still I m going for an onsite Job, don't know when will return back. You know, I got everything in my life except someone, with whom I can actually share my world, my success.

Someone..."

I looked straight into her eyes.. Those blue eyes, I think she got the answer, who is that 'someone'

With some pain in her eyes, she said, "sorry got to go,will give you my number"

I again, sat back to my seat,very silent, looking outside, and hoping some answer. It was dark outside by that time, some thunder in cloud, just like inside my heart. Then suddenly, plane started getting hiccups.. Everone got scared..

I saw Saakshi running towards mic, she made an announcement, that don't be panic as they are facing a storm outside.

But plane started shaking badly, everyone started feeling its the last moment of their lives...

I keep on watching Saakshi, and she to me...

Then something hit my back hard.. And there was a complete darkness in front of me..

Deep silent, but I could still feel the shaking plane, and people's scream..

Then someone shouted... 'Paaaaarrrrrrraaaaaasssss !!!!!'

"Paras, wake up you are again sleeping in office, wake up, I need that report urgently"

Damn.. I looked here-there, same ODC, no Onsite, no plane.. No Saakshi..

I stared at my PM in anger.. Because of you only, that plane crashed!!

I STILL DON'T KNOW, WHY IT HAPPENS DAILY BETWEEN 1 TO 2pm.

No one can catch fish in anger

On the first day, as President, Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, just in the middle, one man stood up. He was a rich aristocrat.

He said, "Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family". And the whole senate laughed; they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.

But Lincoln - and that type of people are made of a totally different mettle. Lincoln looked at the man and said, "Sir I know that my father used to make shoes in your house for your family, and there will be many other here... because the way he made shoes; nobody else can. He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes, he poured his whole soul in it. I want to ask you, have you any complaint? Because I know how to make shoes myself; if you have any complaint I can make another pair of shoes. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about my father's shoes. He was genius, a great creator and I am proud of my father".

The whole Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of a man Abraham Lincoln was. He had made the 'Shoe Making', an art, a creativity. And he was proud because his father did the job so well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.

It does not matter what you do. What matters is how you do it - of our own accord, with your own vision, with your own love. Then whatever you touch becomes gold. Lets us try to do things in better way

those days

How did one survive growing up in the 70's, 80's and 90's? 

We had no seatbelts, no airbags..

Cycling was like a breath of fresh air… 

No safety helmets, knee pads or elbow pads, with plenty of cardboards between spokes to make it sound like a motorbike… 

When thirsty we only drank tap water, bottled water was still a mystery… 

We kept busy collecting bits & pieces so we could build all sort of things … and we were fearless on our bicycles even when the brakes failed going downhill… 

We were showing off how tough we are, by how high we could climb trees & then jumping down….It was great fun…. 

We could stay out to play for hours, as long as we got back before dark, in time for dinner… 

We walked to school, or sometimes we even rode our bicycle. 

We had no mobile phones, but we always managed to find each other…. How? 

We lost teeth, broke arms & legs, we got cuts and bruises and bloody noses…. nobody complained as we had so much fun, it wasn't anybody's fault, only ours 

We ate everything in sight, cakes, bread, chocolate, ice-cream, sweet sugary drinks, fruits..yet, we stayed skinny by fooling around. 

And if one of us was lucky to find a 1 litre coca cola bottle we all had a swig from it & guess what? Nobody picked up any germs... 

We did not have Play Stations, MP3, Nintendo's, I-Pods, Video games, 99 Cable TV channels, DVD's, Home Cinema, Home Computers, Laptops, Chat-rooms, Internet, etc ... 

BUT, we had REAL FRIENDS!!!! 

We called on friends to come out to play, never rang the doorbell, just went around the backdoor… 

We played with sticks and stones, played cowboys and Indians, doctors and nurses, hide and seek, soccer games, over and over again… 

When we failed our exams we were given a second chance by simply repeating the same grade…without visiting psychiatrists, psychologists or counselors… 

Such were the days… 

We had freedom, success, disappointments and responsibilities. .. 

Most of all, we learned to respect others… 

By Sandeep Kodandapani

DIET

DIET -> Did I Eat That?

Good definition by VB